Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
