Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
