He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
