Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
