my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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