you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
