and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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