i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
