Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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