Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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