Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
