Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
