i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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