she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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