So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
