just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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