try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
