im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
