btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
