youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
