yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Farmville is her only friend.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
