Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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