you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
