the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My pussy is not your playground.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
