windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
