if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
