we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
