I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
