so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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