I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
