Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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