The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
