spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I could fuck to npr.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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