Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize