home. puking in laundry basket.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
