A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
