i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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