we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
