sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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