its not stalking. its research.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
