Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
