We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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