I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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