i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize