she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
