Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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