Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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