What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
