If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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