I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
