So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
